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Game Review: Warlords [PS3/Xbox 360]

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Remember Warlords back on the Atari 2600? Neither do I.

Having looked into it briefly, the original was a multiplayer-focussed, Breakout-esque kind of affair. The aim was to destroy the other players’ bases by hurling a catchable projectile in their general direction, whilst mindfully protecting your own castle. It seemed to be fast, reactive and fundamentally a good time. Now, we are blessed with a re-imagining courtesy of Griptonite Games available to download from Xbox Live or PSN and whilst elements of the core concept certainly remain, the new constituent pieces succeed only in convoluting a premise that had previously thrived on simplicity.

To be fair, it’s not for lack of trying.

Warlords sports a relatively comprehensive suite of modes although – it has to be said – more or less the exact same thing plays out in each.  A lightly narrated campaign mode seeks to ease players into the swing of the things, ultimately serving as little more, in spite of quite a steep challenge curve. Next to no effort has been put into hiding a pre-ordained list of increasingly difficult matches, but then again, if what you want from Warlords is a stirring expositional epic, you’ve perhaps misjudged it. Things on the multiplayer side are pleasingly robust; all forms of the game are available to take online from the get go, and the concept fits the seldom-seen local mode surprisingly nicely.

It’s with the mechanics that things stumble. There are a few different types of game, the simplest referred to as ‘classic’. As you’d expect, this most closely emulates the original title – a dragon will throw a fireball on the stage, and you and your enemies deflect it by aiming your shield with the left analogue stick. Things play out like a war of attrition within a pinball machine which, at best, is pleasingly tactile, and at worst, relatively boring. The pace and general progress seem to crawl even on the more difficult settings, directly opposing the most engaging tenant of its Atari counterpart.

‘Classic’ mode provides the basis for all of Warlord’s game types; various things are plastered on top of it to create more frenetic experiences. These primarily crystallise in the form of Snoots, little minions that straddle the line twixt adorable and insufferable. Their implementation plays out like a basic strategy game as they can be used to capture power-up-giving control points, rebuild your broken defences or attack the enemy’s. The little guys are controlled by the right analogue stick, and using them is as simple as putting them near their target and watching them work their magic. Manipulating the shield and your minions at the same time is about as intuitive as it probably could have been, although the fact that it never feels effortless speaks more to a flawed concept than it does broken implementation. Eventually a Black Knight figure comes into play, basically to wreak havoc and provide an additional, unwanted, curveball.

Battles are at their best when your enemy is sitting next to you on a sofa. Whilst the net code holds up admirably, the game just simply isn’t engaging enough to satiate playing with the faceless. The battles between Snoots are often unclearly presented, and keeping track of everything is something that never feels natural. What remains remarkable throughout is how rarely the craziness of it all fails to ever feel exciting. Tactics boils down to little more than responding to basic stimuli, and even winning hardly ever feels  satisfying or really deserved.

As far as the visuals are concerned, good intention was clearly there. Warloads boasts a generally strong design, building on cliché medieval archetypes admirably enough to forge a distinct appearance. The frame rate undermines the artistry completely however. Even when playing the most simplistic of game, the problem is noticeable. It never gets quite bad enough to make the game unplayable, but it certainly mars an otherwise interesting presentation. The audio is bawdy and playful, surprisingly evoking Brutal Legend’s guitar-led themes.

The thing about Warlords is that there is an okay time in here somewhere, and your chances of finding it increase substantially if you’ve got a buddy with you. In the end, though, it’s let down by its primary mechanic more than anything else, which, after many hours of playing, failed to grow on me. It’s just not that fun. The inevitable (and conveniently neat) conclusion is that you’d have a better time cracking out the Atari 2600.


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